I have tried a new thing this week....I cleaned my house, a lot. I am pretty sure it is nesting, but whatever it is, it is working. Let me put a disclaimer in here....I am not a clean person, I am not a dirty person mind you, just not as clean as my beautiful sister in laws. My house is never clean or really dirty, mostly cluttered, played in, and forgotten. But something snapped in me last week, we had just gotten home from Tahoe, again the house was not clean but not super dirty. I got in my 2006 Sienna and it was just kind of dingy. It just hit me that my poor car deserves more than this. I kept thinking and thinking and thinking, then I started list making which is never good. I got up the next morning and started cleaning and cleaning and cleaning. I think the first day I wore my fingers "literally" down to the bone, but it was worth it. The next day was the same. But after that it was a little bit easier and the same the next day.
Let me explain something about me a clean. I have always felt that being not clean was a part of my identity, in my teen age years it was the only thing that I was rebellious about (I was an angel teen, that and very introverted) I always just thought that it was a part of me, but sense being married, I have had to reexamine it. We had babies, and it is always gross to see a dog hair in their mouth, then I started to wonder as Derek got older what he thinks about our house. Then we have the random comment from my nephew, "our car is cleaner than your car!" I kind of swept all these worries under the rug, but maybe, just maybe, I have turned a corner. Maybe. The amazing feeling that I have had that is very unexpected, is a feeling of enough. I know what I have, where it is, what condition it is in, and I have a feeling of plenty, enough. It is pretty nice. So I will keep working, and maybe maybe the nesting feeling will not leave for a while.