Daily #13008
My obessions is my husband today (in a very healthy way) For your enjoyment here is his myspace page and a copy of his roast on his 32nd, written by his younger brother Canyon: (sorry it is long but very funny, in a inside joke kind of way)
Unsung Legacy: A Reading By Canyon Prusso The following accounts of true possible past events are mostly true, at least from my perspective. And by true, of course, I mean false. They’re mainly lies. But they’re entertaining lies. And in the end, isn’t that the real truth? The answer to that question, is no. My memory of Jeremy is fairly foggy until the time that he is about 25, so you can disregard anything I say I remember about him until that time. Also, most of the information I have gathered has been collected from his childhood neighbors, babysitters, ex-girlfriends, police officers, firemen, Sunday school teachers, and school principals. Let us proceed with courage and caution as we seek to understand the place where sushi bars and facial hair, rock and roll and golden labs, and deep fryers and barely passing report cards all get thrown in a box and sold on Craig’s List. Let’s start at the beginning and steal a glance into the unsung and underappreciated phenomenon that is the life of our good friend/charming son/demanding husband: Jeremy Prusso. Jeremy William Prusso entered this world. At 11 pounds heavy and 11 inches long, distinguishing characteristics included a receding hairline, crooked teeth, and a birthmark on his lower back that resembles a wolf howling and for which he is still accused of having a tattoo. His mother gazed upon her new baby boy and observed as only a mother can that he “had potential”. 32 years later, he still has potential. Jeremy’s infant and toddler years were marked by silent indifference towards all except eating. His mother reports that he didn’t even smile until he was 22 months old when he realized that his linebacker build could be used to his advantage and aid him in inflicting pain or discomfort to those smaller than him, something from which much of his joy is still derived. By 6 years of age Jeremy was in Livermore, going to kindergarten and growing facial hair. By the end of 1st grade he had gone out with and dumped every girl in his class. By second grade he had been sentenced to three years of expulsion from the school. He returned to school for fifth grade and these years of community service and apology, are still referred to as “homeschool” by his mother. The middle school years provided a time for Jeremy to hone his talents and tailor himself as a vandal and a heartbreaker; among other things besides a student. Jeremy was something of a celebrity at middle school, on a first name basis with the entire office staff and every yard duty officer and known for blaming various pranks and school vandalism (of which he was architect) on his teachers. My earliest memory of Jeremy is of him giving me a ride somewhere for some reason and needing to make a quick stop at his friend Dan’s house. The next three and a half hours were occupied by Jeremy and Dan Butchert deep-frying frozen chimichangas (which are already deep-fried), making dry-ice bombs, and racing electric wheelchairs that belonged to Dan’s paraplegic mother. Jeremy’s life was changed when he served a mission in several countries nobody has heard of, learning a language he calls “Serbo-Croation”. He once had a spiritual experience when he overheard two people discussing some religious topic (he still couldn’t really understand the language but thinks it was something to do with religion) at a hockey game. Or was it a fishing trip? He can’t really remember. Jeremy returned from his mission a little wiser, a little balder, and a lot better at singing and playing the guitar. Before he finally found Trieste, he dated 21 different girls, kissed 39, was engaged to 4, wrote songs about 9, made fun of 13 behind their backs and 8 to their faces. I knew Trieste was the one the very first time I heard him talk about her and say something nice about her even though she wasn’t there. Jeremy and Trieste actually met while Jeremy was in “homeschool” and was sent to a juvenile delinquent/fat camp where Trieste was one of his counselors. Neither of them remember that and so the current version of the story is that Trieste saw Jeremy playing his guitar at a coffee shop and had a crush on him a few months before they really met. Since Jeremy doesn’t remember that version, we will take mine as the truth. Trieste saw Jeremy playing at an open mic in Logan, got his autograph (and neither of them have lost hope that that will someday be worth money), and told him she was from Colorado and had rich parents. They were engaged that night. Two weeks later, Jeremy borrowed a temple recommend from a friend and he and Trieste were married in the Logan Temple. Trieste had precious little information about Jeremy before the wedding. Basically she knew that he had a beard, played the guitar, and loved animals. “I have learned a lot since we dated,” said Trieste recently, “but there is nothing I can’t deal with. It’s really just little things. Midnight trips to get sushi. Early morning trips for sushi. Profuse sweating in 60 degree weather. It really just starts to grow on you.” Jeremy and Trieste enjoy perfect harmony in their relationship and can look forward to years of happiness and success. Jeremy is an untapped resource of failproof ingenuity. Have you ever sat on an airplane and gotten tired of rubbing knees with your neighbor? Jeremy has a solution. The Knelt. A simple yet elegant Velcro strap with optional headrest that keeps knees together and relaxed. Just remember the silent K in knelt or it’ll never go anywhere. Have you ever wanted to drink milk that tastes like the cereal you have just eaten but not wanted to deal with the actual eating of the cereal? Jeremy has a solution. He and his buddy Derek will fill a bowl with any of your favorite flavors; cinnamon toast crunch, lucky charms, cocoa pebbles etc., eat the cereal and bottle the remaining milk. All he needs is a clever name. Too bad Knelt is already taken. Ever gotten tired of working? Jeremy has a solution. Just leave work early. An hour, two hours, right after lunch of you want. (Jeremy doesn’t actually do that). Jeremy used to be my favorite brother with 3 nipples, but since the surgery he has just become another brother.
